There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
