Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
