guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
