i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize