Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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