Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
