over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
