Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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