don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
