You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
