can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize