the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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