What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We need a shit load of segways right now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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