what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
