The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
