I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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