i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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