I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize