everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
