I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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