Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
