I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
