Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
