I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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