Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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