At least make sure they are 18
Why
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
