I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
