I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
