Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
