did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
