dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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