don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
did i just pee glitter
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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