that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
