i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
