You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
