never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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