I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
