I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
