Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
