all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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