this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
