My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
