You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
