Dual....:-)
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
do herpes really smell.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
