i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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