How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
