:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
