am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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