You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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