Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
