There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
