I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bring me that man meat
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
