I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
