just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
