I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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