small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
