This girl is more easily done than said...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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