Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
