Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
3 2 1 whiskey
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize