i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
