White coat. Heels.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
